After more than a decade in family law, Gabriella Pomare has observed a troubling trend: couples who stop arguing entirely, not as a sign of peace, but as a symptom of profound disconnection.
"One of the biggest things I see is ‘quiet quitting’ or ‘silent divorce’,” she says. “It’s where you’re living together and you’re just disconnected.”
Pomare describes partners sitting on the same couch, one scrolling a phone, the other watching Netflix—existing in parallel rather than together. The communication has ceased, yet they remain in the same home due to children, bills, mortgages, or simply the fear of making the split official.
This phenomenon, sometimes called “silent divorce,” can be more damaging than open conflict because it erodes the emotional bond without any overt confrontation. Pomare advises couples to recognize the red flag early and seek counseling or honest conversations before the chasm becomes too wide to bridge.