Thursday, July 2, 2026 | London 22°C · Clear
DailyGlimpse

You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop leaving piles of her hair and nails around the flat?

Lifestyle
July 2, 2026 · 1:33 PM
You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop leaving piles of her hair and nails around the flat?

Skip to main contentSkip to navigation

Close dialogue 1/1 Next image Previous image Toggle caption

Support the Guardian

Fund independent journalism

Support from $3.45 a weekSupport from $3.45 a week

Print subscriptions

Newsletters

Sign in

US

The Guardian - Back to home The Guardian

  • [x]

Show more Hide expanded menu

  • [x]

Illustration: Igor Bastidas/The Guardian

View image in fullscreen

Illustration: Igor Bastidas/The Guardian

You be the judgeRelationships

You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop leaving piles of her hair and nails around the flat?

Martin is repulsed by Debbie’s maintenance routine, while she says it’s just the fallout of being a busy woman. You decide if his body of evidence stacks up

Find out how to get a disagreement settled or become a juror

Interviews by Georgina Lawton

Thu 2 Jul 2026 03.00 EDT Last modified on Thu 2 Jul 2026 03.02 EDT

Share

495 495

Prefer the Guardian on Google

The prosecution: Martin

I am not a germaphobe but I do get freaked out when I see bits of Debbie lying around the place

My girlfriend Debbie leaves small piles of her nails, hair and contact lenses around the flat and I find it gross.

When she takes her contact lenses out, she chucks them on the floor. When she brushes her hair, she lets it fall to the floor and gather in little hairballs. When she is done with her manicure, she picks off the colour and throws the paint on the floor until she sweeps it up again when she cleans the flat. When she breaks a nail, or picks her nails, she puts them in a little pile and leaves them until she clears them up, which could be a few days later or when she does the weekly clean-up.

I just think: why wouldn’t you throw them down the loo or in the bin straight away? What is the point of letting little bits of grossness collect around the flat? I don’t understand it.

Debbie wears hair extensions and I come back from work to see little hairballs blowing across the floor like tumbleweed. One time, I thought I saw a spider crawling around – but it was a hairball. With the contact lenses, they stick to the wooden floors and surfaces. Debbie pulls them out of her eyes and drops them anywhere.

It reminds me of an old witch, saving her nail clippings to create a curse or potion

We share the cleaning in our flat but even when you vacuum, it doesn’t pick up the contact lenses. I often have to scrape them off surfaces because they are dried up and crispy.

It’s also really gross to think of Debbie leaving her eye, scalp and nail germs everywhere. I am not a germaphobe, but I do get freaked out when I see bits of her all around the place. I love how she looks, but I don’t want to see the remnants of her manicure weeks later.

The nail clippings and nail varnish gross me out the most. It reminds me of an old witch, saving her nail clippings to create a curse or potion. Debbie is gorgeous and not at all witch-like, but it’s an issue of hygiene.

I have had friends at the flat before and they’ve spotted one of her contact lenses on the dining room table and asked what it was. It’s not a big deal, but it’s just gross. I suggested getting a little bowl where she could put all her dried contacts, but she just laughed. If she won’t do that, Debbie should throw her old contacts and nail clippings straight in the bin or down the toilet.

You be the judge – send us your domestic disputes Read more

The defence: Debbie

The way Martin talks about me, you’d think I was Miss Havisham. I’m just a busy woman

The “little piles” Martin is going on about are not permanent monuments. I do clean them up eventually. If I brush my hair before work and a few strands collect in the corner until the evening, or collate over the weekend into little hairballs, I don’t think that constitutes a national emergency.

Same with contact lenses. Sometimes, after a 12-hour day, my priority is simply getting them out of my eyes. I put them on the side, but Martin says I throw them everywhere and acts like I am discarding medical waste all over the flat.

Martin only moved in three months ago, so he shouldn’t be telling me how to live. Before that, I was perfectly happy in my flat and survived the apparent horror of occasionally leaving a contact lens on the side or some hair on the bathroom floor.

The way Martin speaks about me, you would think I am rotting in the corner of the flat like Miss Havisham. I am just a busy woman who sometimes leaves traces of herself around while getting ready.

If Martin wants a girlfriend who looks immaculate while leaving no physical evidence of being human, he’s asking for a hologram

Everyone sheds hair. Mine is more noticeable because I have extensions and long hair, unlike Martin, who is bald. However, he leaves beard hairs glued to the sink, so he’s not perfect.

Martin loves my hair extensions, manicures and appearance in general, but seems disgusted by any evidence that these things require upkeep. Nails chip and hair sheds. If he wants a girlfriend who looks immaculate while also leaving behind no evidence of being a woman, then he should be with a hologram.

Nobody apart from Martin has ever suggested I live in filth and I am not unhygienic. I clean up after myself and I probably do most of the cleaning, just not on the schedule that Martin wants.

skip past newsletter promotion

Free newsletter | Weekly

Sign up to Inside Saturday

The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend.

Preview latest

Enter your email

Sign up

after newsletter promotion

Ultimately, this is less about hygiene and more about Martin being oddly disturbed by ordinary bodily processes. If the greatest hardship that he faces in life is occasionally having to look at a strand of my hair on the floor, then I would say he is doing fairly well.

The jury of Guardian readers

Beyond the question of cleanliness, human droppings like this give off bad vibes. This sort of thing is a form of “visual static”, which disturbs the harmony of a home. Yes to the bowl; no to the droppings.

Kirk, 66

There is a time and a place for everything and personal hygiene belongs in the bathroom and in front of the mirror, not throughout the flat.

John, 78

Martin seems inexperienced at sharing a home. Shed hair is easy to overlook – it accumulates gradually before becoming noticeable. If Debbie eventually cleans up after herself and isn’t leaving dirty dishes, food or laundry lying around, then stray hair, nail clippings and lenses are trifles rather than unforgivable offences.

Aditi, 31

Martin should be able to live in a flat with his girlfriend without worrying about tripping over her hair extensions, stepping on nail clippings and swallowing rogue, dried-up contact lenses. However, by leaving beard trimmings in the sink, he is throwing stones in a glass house.

Susanne 51

Being busy isn’t an excuse in this case. They should each do their part: Debbie could clip her nails and take her contact lenses out in the bathroom and bin them immediately; and Martin could clean his beard hair from the sink – he’s being a bit of a hypocrite.

Ana, 30

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: should Debbie shed her bad habits?

The poll closes on Wednesday 8 July at 9am BST

Last week’s results

Teddy doesn’t like his partner telling him he has food in his beard. We asked: is she right tell him or she should stop?

96% of you said yes – Teddy is guilty

4% of you said no – Teddy is innocent

Bring the world to your kitchen with the Feast app

From Tokyo to Tuscany and Mexico City to Melbourne, discover over 7,000 recipes from world-class cooks across the globe.

Whether you’re looking for easy weeknight recipes, healthy and protein-packed dishes, or simply new recipes to avoid the recipe rut, the Feast app has everything you need, including smart features that make everyday cooking easier:

•Browse through recipes with enhanced search and filters

•Curate your own recipe collections in My Feast

•Metric or cups? Your choice

•Create your own shopping list

•Use cook mode for step-by-step instructions

•Print your favourite recipes

Start your 14-day free trial today

Download now

Explore more on these topics

Share

Reuse this content

Most viewed

You be the judge

You be the judge

  • ### You be the judge: my partner doesn’t like me telling him he has food in his beard. Should I stop? 25 Jun 2026879 879 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my husband stop letting our kids climb over our neighbour’s fence to get their ball back? 18 Jun 20261,121 1121 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my girlfriend make better use of our shared calendar? 11 Jun 2026715 715 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my partner get rid of her old dishcloths and sponges? 4 Jun 2026543 543 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop trying to make our lives plastic-free? 28 May 2026422 422 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my husband stop telling me how to mop the floor? 21 May 2026598 598 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my partner stop leaving the windows and doors open? 14 May 2026504 504 comments
  • ### You be the judge: should my flatmate stop using my details to sign up for free trials? 7 May 2026611 611 comments

More from Lifestyle

More from Lifestyle

  • ### Works of ‘civic generosity’: NSW architecture awards winners 2026 – in pictures 2h ago
  • ### Who am I rooting for most at the World Cup? A wise and gentle Italian referee 4h ago38 38 comments
  • ### My mother was an excellent care worker. Why did she end up marching with the EDL? 5h ago
  • ### Thursday news quiz: stolen saplings, legal happenings and a missing giraffe 9h ago387 387 comments
  • ### I visited seven themed bars in one week. Can ball pits and bingo save British nightlife? 10h ago209 209 comments
  • ### My mother has died and I can mourn her. That makes me one of the fortunate 10h ago
  • ### What’s really in a hotdog? Nutrition experts explain 22h ago
  • ### Jess Cartner-Morley on fashion: still wearing stripes? It’s time to join the dots 1d ago95 95 comments

Comments (490)

Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion

Comments (490)

Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion

Guardian Pick

Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

Jump to comment

CommunityMod7 hours ago

Staff

2

Guardian Pick

No one is too busy that they can't throw nail clippings in the bin instead of just leaving it on the floor. Martin doesn't need to declare that he isn't a germaphobe. This is just normal hygiene. Debbie's comment about the hologram is just ridiculous. And yes he should tell her to clean up after herself since he lives there too. Just don't throw nails, hair and contact lenses down the toilet. In the bin for goodness sake. Mutual respect, dence…

Jump to comment

VegansRuleThePlanet6 hours ago

89

Guardian Pick

Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

Jump to comment

CommunityMod7 hours ago

Staff

2

Guardian Pick

No one is too busy that they can't throw nail clippings in the bin instead of just leaving it on the floor. Martin doesn't need to declare that he isn't a germaphobe. This is just normal hygiene. Debbie's comment about the hologram is just ridiculous. And yes he should tell her to clean up after herself since he lives there too. Just don't throw nails, hair and contact lenses down the toilet. In the bin for goodness sake. Mutual respect, dence…

Jump to comment

VegansRuleThePlanet6 hours ago

89

View more comments

Most viewed

Most viewed

Most viewed Across the Guardian

  1. ‘Hugging is forbidden’: women jailed for life – in pictures

  2. Ohio authorities rescue 16 children confined to one room for four years

  3. Young Indonesian couple publicly caned after kissing on TikTok

  4. Valuable Spanish painting left on street salvaged by man who liked its frame

  5. Trump hijacked US’s 250 anniversary to serve ‘political ideology and pet projects’, congressional report says

  6. Live Anger as report says Trump hijacked US anniversary to serve own agenda – US politics live

  7. Vatican excommunicates all members of ultra-conservative rebel group SSPX

  8. A storm, overpriced food and a sad ferris wheel: inside Trump’s dreadful state fair

  9. Live Kyiv attacks death toll rises to 20 as Russia warns it will ‘continue to increase pressure’ on Ukrainian capital – Europe live

  10. A goal, a red and a LeBron James shout: Folarin Balogun gets the spotlight in US’s wild World Cup win

Most viewed in Life and style

  1. You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop leaving piles of her hair and nails around the flat?

  2. The sporty sex boom: how our summer of sport is sparking sizzling love affairs

  3. My mother was an excellent care worker. Why did she end up marching with the EDL?

  4. A new start after 60: I spent eight years thinking I had Parkinson’s. Then doctors ‘de-diagnosed’ me

  5. A moment that changed me: my grandpa risks his life to litter pick – and he taught me a profound lesson

  6. I visited seven themed bars in one week. Can ball pits and bingo save British nightlife?

  7. My rookie era: The Hunger Games made me think I’d be incredible at archery. So I picked up a bow to find out

  8. This is how we do it: ‘I expected to be a little old spinster, but kinky sex broadened my horizons’

  9. The pet I’ll never forget: Holly, the beagle who chewed her way through my home and into my heart

  10. I wish my son wanted to spend more time with me

Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning

Sign up for our email

Support the Guardian

Available for everyone, funded by readers

Support us

Back to top

© 2026 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved.(dcr)

← More Lifestyle View original