Friday, June 26, 2026 | London 30°C · Clear
DailyGlimpse

Experience: I met my husband in the Dull Men’s Club

Lifestyle
June 26, 2026 · 1:31 PM
Experience: I met my husband in the Dull Men’s Club

Skip to main contentSkip to navigation

Close dialogue 1/1 Next image Previous image Toggle caption

Support the Guardian

Fund independent journalism

Support from $3.45 a weekSupport from $3.45 a week

Print subscriptions

Newsletters

Sign in

US

The Guardian - Back to home The Guardian

  • [x]

Show more Hide expanded menu

  • [x]

‘We just exist together – no fuss, no stress, no anxiety’: Lili and Luke Mallatratt at their home in the US. Photograph: Jessica Tezak/The Guardian

View image in fullscreen

‘We just exist together – no fuss, no stress, no anxiety’: Lili and Luke Mallatratt at their home in the US. Photograph: Jessica Tezak/The Guardian

ExperienceLife and style

Experience: I met my husband in the Dull Men’s Club

Luke spoke about how he irons his T-shirts and keeps a strict budget spreadsheet. I was hooked

Lili Mallatratt

Fri 26 Jun 2026 00.00 EDT Last modified on Fri 26 Jun 2026 03.50 EDT

Share

Prefer the Guardian on Google

T he Dull Men’s Club popped up on my Facebook feed one day in late 2023. It’s now called Banana for Scale – a reference to a running joke in the group – as there were many clubs with similar names. It’s a place for people to celebrate the ordinary things in life. Every post had this dry sense of humour, which I’m drawn to.

One member regularly posts about his outings with his friend Nigel; others show off their collection of rocks.

I love that mindset. You don’t have to do something extraordinary. I like that there are people who are content being dull without judgment.

I live in the US and I remember seeing a post from someone in the UK who had shared a photograph of crumpets with the caption: “This is what an English crumpet looks like. They’re light and fluffy, and we toast them and smother them in butter. If you get a chance, you will enjoy them.” That was it.

A couple of weeks after I joined, I was added to a group chat with other people from the page. One of them was a guy called Luke. It was just a friendly conversation between people who share the same affinity for life – that the simple things are just as joyful as the big things. Luke spoke about how he irons his T-shirts, keeps a strict budget spreadsheet and has a routine to his evening meals. We bonded over the “dullness” of simplicity. I experienced a lot of chaos growing up, and he balanced out my nervous system.

That’s how Luke – who is British and was living in the UK – and I first started chatting. The algorithm pulled us together.

First we talked about work, then it was music and movies. The more we talked, the more we peeled back those layers and I saw his character. I was drawn to his heart.

We would spend five to six hours on video calls, but as he lives on the other side of the world, I didn’t think anything was going to happen. Then, after two months speaking on the phone every day, Luke asked: what if I got on a plane and flew over? I just thought, why not?

We’re not high‑maintenance people. We don’t have to spend a lot of money to be content

I have a friend who works for the US government so I asked her to do a background check on him. I didn’t want some serial killer coming to visit me. She said, “Not only does he have a completely clean record, he’s boring. He doesn’t even have a speeding ticket.”

That’s how I like it. I’d been married before and I’d had enough drama in my life.

We’d planned a trip together in Tennessee, a couple of hours’ drive from where I live. But the week before he was flying out, I had to go into hospital for an emergency operation. Instead of cancelling the trip, Luke came straight to the hospital. He got there at about 3am – I woke up and we had a quick, nervous hello. We were desperate to see each other.

He stayed with me in the hospital for five days, sleeping on a futon. I was amazed by how supportive he was. He never left my side.

When he left after that first trip, I remember thinking, I’m going to marry that man. I’d never met anybody who was so selfless. I realised he was somebody I could be safe with, and that’s important to me. When you hit 40, you’re old enough to know what you want. We were both really candid about how we felt about each other.

skip past newsletter promotion

Free newsletter | Weekly

Sign up to Inside Saturday

The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend.

Preview latest

Enter your email

Sign up

after newsletter promotion

Experience: we sold everything to live on cruise ships Read more

He told me that, other than friends and family, he had no ties to England that he couldn’t unbind, whereas I have children and grandchildren in the States. When he visited for the third time three months later, we got engaged. That was about a year after we’d first met in the Dull Men’s Club.

We got married in September last year in a cabin in the Great Smoky Mountains on the Tennessee/North Carolina border, and, of course, we mentioned the Facebook algorithm in our vows. When we shared our story on the group, one member estimated how far apart we’d lived in bananas –they said it was 38 million.

Luke moved into my house with me and my children. We’re not high‑maintenance people. We don’t have to spend a lot of money to be content. We just exist together – no fuss, no stress, no anxiety. It’s not like we don’t have fun – we travel and go on road trips to concerts.

But it’s just nice being dull together.

As told to Naomi Larsson Piñeda

Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com

We know this is annoying… but we wouldn’t want you to miss our EOFY offer

Seeing these messages can be repetitive. We know that. (Imagine what it’s like writing them … )

But it’s also extremely important. One of the Guardian’s most valuable assets is its reader funding.

1. Reader funding means we can cover what we like. We’re not beholden to the political whims of a billionaire owner. No one can tell us what not to say or what not to report.

2. Reader funding means we don’t have to chase clicks and traffic. We’re not desperately seeking your attention for the sake of it: we pursue the stories that our editorial team deems important, and believe are worthy of your time.

3. Reader funding means we can keep our website open, allowing as many people as possible to read quality journalism from around the world – especially those who live in places where the free press is in peril.

Right now, the Guardian’s work is funded by just 2.4% of our regular readers. We know that not everyone can afford to pay for news, but if it would help to convince you to support us, we’d love to offer readers like you from the US a Digital plus subscription. For a limited time only, claim your Digital plus subscription at 46% off for the first six months. Our Digital Plus subscription offers all the benefits of All-access digital, along with our 200-year archive, the digital newspaper, and the Guardian Weekly digital magazine.

We value every contribution, but choosing a Digital plus subscription enables greater investment in our most crucial, fearless journalism. As our thanks to you, we can offer you some great benefits (including making these messages go away). We’ve made it quick and easy to set up, so we hope you’ll consider it. Thank you.

Support $15/monthly

46% off

Support $28 $15.00/monthly

The benefits fromAll-access digital, plus:

  • Digital access to the Guardian’s 200-year newspaper archive
  • Daily digital Guardian newspaper
  • Guardian Weekly e-magazine
  • The Long Read e-magazine

Support $5/monthly

Continue

Remind me in August

Explore more on these topics

Share

Reuse this content

Most viewed

Experience

Experience

  • ### I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro on my hands 19 Jun 202638 38 comments
  • ### Experience: I was held hostage for a year 12 Jun 2026
  • ### Experience: I sat under an oak tree every day for a year 5 Jun 2026185 185 comments
  • ### Experience: we sold everything to live on cruise ships 29 May 2026
  • ### Experience: we found a baby on the subway – now he’s our 26-year-old son 22 May 2026228 228 comments
  • ### Experience: I smuggled myself out of the UK 15 May 2026
  • ### Experience: I am the best lightsaber fighter in Europe 8 May 202683 83 comments
  • ### Experience: I died on my 44th birthday 1 May 2026

More from Lifestyle

More from Lifestyle

  • ### Prime Day deals are still on – the 53 best discounts after sifting through hundreds 1h ago
  • ### A game of two halves – meet the new World Cup pundits: the Stephen Collins cartoon 4h ago
  • ### Rose Sharp obituary 4h ago
  • ### Behold the sunbrella, fashion’s stealth accessory for a heatwave 8h ago
  • ### Incredible panoramas, wildflower meadows and the odd wild horse: readers’ favourite walks in Europe 8h ago21 21 comments
  • ### I tested the three best air purifiers to detox the air in your home - all on sale for Prime Day 18h ago
  • ### You can still get an Apple Watch for its lowest price ever. Here’s which to buy 21h ago
  • ### Tiny yet powerful, the Anker 511 Nano 3 is the best budget USB charger we tested – on sale for Prime Day 23h ago

Most viewed

Most viewed

Most viewed Across the Guardian

  1. Former Las Vegas youth pastor dies days after being charged in wife’s fatal fall

  2. Reflecting pool was cut with ‘sharp knife or razor’, National Park Service says

  3. Russia preparing possible ‘provocation’ in Baltic states or Poland, sources say

  4. Porsche magnate puts historic Salzburg villa up for sale after row over private ‘tunnel for one’

  5. I will show you fear in a rainbow baseball cap: the right’s culture wars come to MLB

  6. Ukraine war briefing: Zelenskyy declares 40-day Russia blitz to ‘influence the aggressor state’

  7. Bizarre questions and an all-male ‘jury’: woman strangled by US pilot in Britain tells of airbase trial

  8. California’s landmark anti-plastics law sparks anger as 17 states moves to sue

  9. A little bird told her: scientist wins $100,000 prize for decoding birdsong

  10. Alarm over ‘extreme’ sentences for anti-ICE protesters convicted of terrorism

Most viewed in Life and style

  1. Experience: I met my husband in the Dull Men’s Club

  2. My father left my mother for another woman. He wants us to start including her. Do we need to?

  3. ‘Smaller doses of exercise are a miracle cure’: 14 expert tips to protect your joints

  4. Chasing life goals is a recipe for disaster – so try these tiny experiments instead

  5. Midsummer isn’t the best time for planting, but it’s great for planning

  6. Houseplant hacks: does putting gravel at the bottom of pots improve drainage?

  7. A moment that changed me: A telegram arrived – and I had to choose between my head and my heart

  8. A game of two halves – meet the new World Cup pundits: the Stephen Collins cartoon

  9. ‘It’s not just for old rich people’: the case for making your estate plan now

  10. Dining across the divide: ‘He mentioned the idea of 100% income tax over £350,000. I think the threshold should be lower’

Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning

Sign up for our email

Support the Guardian

Available for everyone, funded by readers

Support us

Back to top

© 2026 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved.(dcr)

← More Lifestyle View original