Reality star Jessi Draper is charting a new path toward self-discovery and healing in the wake of her divorce from Jordan Ngatikaura. The 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' personality recently opened up about her emotional journey, revealing plans to attend a dedicated therapy retreat as she navigates this challenging chapter.
In a candid Instagram video shared on April 6, Draper described the divorce process as a profound personal upheaval. "This is such a weird experience to go through," she reflected. "I know a lot of you can relate. It's my second divorce, which has been awful, but they've both been very different. Doing it with kids is very unique from my first situation. I just feel really lost, to be honest."
The 33-year-old mother, who shares children Jagger and Jovi with Ngatikaura and was a stepmother to his daughter Peyton, framed this period as a necessary cleansing. She characterized it as a "purging and a detox of the patterns" she developed during her marriages. "I have a lot of patterns that I don't love," Draper admitted. "I have a lot of behaviors that I don't love either, and I'm really trying to work on that. And at the same time also being like, 'I'm single, I want to have fun.'"
Balancing the desire for enjoyment with the need for genuine healing is a priority. To that end, Draper announced a significant step in her recovery. "I'm going to be going to a four-day therapy retreat this weekend," she shared. "I'm so excited. I think I can find a good balance between having fun and living life but also mourning what I'm losing and healing at the same time. Because even though I know that divorce is the right option for me right now, it doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make it not sad. It doesn't make it not hard."
Draper also spoke about the intense difficulty of enduring a personal crisis under public scrutiny. She described the period surrounding Ngatikaura's filing for divorce on March 19 as among her "darkest" days. "It's very weird to have everyone have opinions on your situation and your decision making," she said. "Especially when you do make mistakes or maybe act out of pocket. I know I've been doing some things that are crazy, and it's weird to have people having commentary about your every move. I know it's what I signed up for, but when you're going through something so emotionally challenging, it is so weird when the world also is going through it with you."
Despite the challenges, including public reaction to her recent kiss with costar Miranda Hope's ex-husband, Chase McWhorter, Draper emphasized her commitment to personal growth. "I just want everyone to know like I am trying to get through this the best way I can," she affirmed. "I'm growing, I'm changing every day, and I think the most important thing right now is that I'm taking the steps to heal. I'm going to therapy, and I'm doing these things that will ensure I'm not falling back into my patterns or making bad decisions out of pain. Because I think at the end of the day, when all of us make mistakes because we're human and we do, it usually does come from a place of pain. That's just usually what's under the surface."
She concluded her message with gratitude for her supporters, signaling a willingness to share her evolving story. "Thank you guys for the love and support," Draper said. "I really appreciate it, and I'm excited to share more of my divorce, single mom journey, because I know a lot of you can relate. So, love you guys."
Her openness resonated with fellow 'Mormon Wives' star Taylor Frankie Paul, who offered words of solidarity in the comments. "Some experiences need to be lived through to even began to understand, empathize, and hold space for," Paul wrote. "I’m here for you even through the bad times my girl."